Today, Class
by Jessy-Fran
Summary: A collection of AU!one-shots about Deidara and Sasori's school days. Mostly friendship fluff but I might change it. Not ordered, so it jumps around a lot! Done for fun.
1. First Day! Reception

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Naruto.** (Damn)

**A/N:** I know I should be working on 'Tagged' and 'Of Roses and Smoke' but this idea popped into my head whilst revising (Great revision, I know!) so it simply had to be written down. I guess at least now I have an on-going story and a collection of one shots for both of my favourite pairings! (DeiSaso – Naruto and MattMello – Death Note)

Yeah this is AU again, so sue me (No, please don't actually)! It will be a collection of one shots about school life with Deidara and Sasori from their first day to graduation! And of course some of the other members of the cast will appear too. I know it's not original, but I don't care. Beside every writer needs to write something cliché and overdone at some point, yeah? So enjoy and, if you want to, please leave a review to tell me what you think!

_Ps: I'm English, so the school years will be done in English terms and ages. I'll try to also write the American grades when I get the chance/understands them!_

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"I don't wanna go to school!" A small blonde child tugged on their mother's skirt, seemingly trying to climb up her.

It wasn't possible to discern whether the child was a boy or girl at a glance to the face, due to their long blonde hair and bright, blue eyes. However the denim shorts, light blue t-shirt and trainers that looked like they could desperately do with a wash told you that he was a boy.

It was in fact, a little boy by the name of Deidara, and today was his first day of school.

Deidara, however, did not want to go to school. He hadn't gone to school for the past four years and he didn't see why he should have to start now.

"Now, now Dei. I have to go to work. You'll have lots of fun and you can tell me all about it when I pick you up later!" Deidara's mother tried to pry the temperamental blonde off her leg but failed miserably.

"But I won't know anyone, un!" he protested, holding even tighter. There were tears in his eyes at the prospect of spending the day alone.

"Neither will anybody else," his mother told him softly, "But you will by the end off the day! You'll make lots of new friends, I'm sure!" She finally succeeded in tearing Deidaras arms off of her and carried him, but instead he threw himself to the ground and decided to turn on the waterworks.

-

"Gramma, why do I have to go to school?" A baby-faced boy with short red hair whined as he looked up to his Grandma. He tugged at the scarf and red jumper she had bundled him up in that morning, despite his protests.

"Because it will be fun, Sasori!" She told him in that sugary-sweet voice adults use when they explain things to little children.

He held his her hand in a vice-like grip and lagged behind as they walked briskly up the path.

As they reached the building, a terrible noise reached Sasori's young ears. It was the type of thing that would make grown men cry and armies retreat.

It was the sound of a certain blonde haired artist-in-the-making having a temper-tantrum.

"NO!" He screamed, "I WON'T GO!" He sat on the floor and kicked their heels into the dirt.

Although Sasori was only four, he knew that this sort of behaviour was wrong. He could also see that the young boy was upset and, being only four, attempted to sort out the problem the only way he knew how.

By offering the hand of friendship.

Sasori approached the blonde and crouched down so that he was eye level with him. The red-head noticed that as soon as he'd got close to him the tantrum had stopped.

"You're noisy." Sasori stated calmly.

"And you're mean, un." The blonde replied, his bottom lip jutting out in a pout. He looked down at the ground and started tracing circles into the dust with a finger.

"My name's Sasori"

The finger stopped moving and blue eyes darted upwards to the red-heads face.

"I'm Deidara, un." He replied after a slight pause.

Sasori stood up abruptly and started to walk towards the open door where both his Grandma and a tall blonde lady were stood watching them.

When he realised that Deidara wasn't following him he turn around to see that he was still sat on the floor. He looked like he was about to cry.

"Hurry up slowcoach!" Sasori shouted.

Deidara's face lit up and he quickly scrabbled to get up off the ground. He ran towards Sasori with a toothy grin on his face but then stopped in front of him.

"So, are we friends?" Deidara asked, looking concerned as to what the answer might be.

"Yes." Sasori answered without missing a beat.


	2. Rescue? Year 12 College

**Disclaimer: I Don't Own Naruto.** Damn

**AN:** Just to point out that I really like Hidan (and Dei and Hidan together, lol) but I think, seeing as he strikes me as being one of the more outwardly aggressive members of the Akatsuki, he would make a good school bully. I couldn't use someone like Itachi because instead of physically hurting someone, he'd just mind-fuck them.

**Warnings: **Hidan's Language (You know what I mean!), OOCness and a Bad Ending

* * *

"Hey!" An indignant blonde called out as his books were pushed to the floor.

"Well, fuck me! Blondie here's got a back bone!" A silver haired teenager leant on the wall of lockers, blocking his escape. "You got a problem with me, Barbie?" He sneered.

"Piss off, un!" Deidara stood up once he'd gathered his books in his arms once more. However he dropped them again when a hand shot out and wrapped itself into his collar. A particularly heavy textbook called "Chemical Reactions: Explosive Stuff" managed to land square on his foot, snatching his attention for a second as he let out a hiss of pain. The tightening grip next to his throat, however, soon reminded him of a more pressing matter.

"That's not very polite, eh?" The teen, known as Hidan, spoke with his usual rough voice and tightened his hold on the blonde boy's shirt.

"I guess we'll have to teach you a lesson, right boys?" The others around him simply nodded and cracked their knuckles.

Blue eyes widened in fear as Hidan's free hand drew back but instantly snapped shut as the fist flew into his face. Deidara's head snapped back and crashed into the metal door of his locker, doubling the damage of the hit. His hands flew up in the vain attempt to shield himself but they proved useless against the stronger arms of Hidan.

Now, Deidara was by no means weak. He could easily hold off the majority of the school bullies and most people knew him for his explosive temper but Hidan, together with his little group of lackeys, was too much for the blonde to handle on his own. Hit after hit landed on his body. Punches changed to kicks as he slipped to the floor, black spots beginning to appear in the corners of his eyes.

Hidan crouched down and smirked at the helpless wreck that was Deidara.

"Have you learnt any fucking manners now, bitch? Or do we have to beat the shit out of you again?" His voice sounded conversational, as though he were simply talking about the weather but it had an underlying tone of warning. Deidara, however, wasn't listening.

"Fuck you, un."

Pinkish eyes narrowed to slits as a hand curled itself around Deidara's throat.

"You never learn, eh Blondie?" His grip tightened and the blonde started to gasp for air. His head hurt from the lack of oxygen and the strange sensation of there being too much blood in his skull. When his lungs started to burn Deidara went into panic mode. Hidan had never taken his beating to this level. He brought his hands to his throat to try to pry the silver haired one off of him, but only succeeded in showing Hidan his distress. A sadistic smile rolled across his lips and pink eyes glinted.

"Hidan, you will let go of him now or I swear you'll be in a body cast for the next six months." The voice was instantly recognisable. It had a smooth quality that made it glide over ones ear but at the same time demanded authority.

"…Danna!" Deidara managed to choke out, eyes lighting up at the thought of rescue. Hidan's grip had slackened slightly due to the unexpected threat of Deidara's best friend, Sasori Akasuna.

"Brat, I thought I told you to stay out of trouble whilst I was away." Sasori chided Deidara in his decidedly bored tone. He couldn't even leave the boy for a week to go on a class trip without something happening to his friend.

"Sorry Danna. I guess trouble always comes looking for me, un!" Deidara had forgotten about Hidan and the hand that was still clamped around his neck.

"Fuck this happy reunion!" Hidan's clearly irritated voice. He got up from his crouching stance on the floor to relieve his legs from the painful position they had been in. However as soon as he was up he placed one foot down on Deidara's chest and another on his wrist, effectively pinning him down.

A hard look replaced the one of boredom in Sasori's eyes. He looked from Deidara on the floor to the foot holding him there, to the owner of said foot and his group of subordinates. Sasori smirked.

_Nothing I can't handle._

"Look Hidan, I'm tired and I don't want or need a fight right now. Leave Deidara alone and I won't kick your arse into next week."

Hidan looked uncomfortable. Everybody knew of Sasori's skill and he would be a fool not to accept such an offer. However his ego the size of a small country wouldn't allow him to simple give over. After a few moments of inner-turmoil, Hidan sighed and freed a very happy looking blonde.

Deidara limped over to Sasori, who didn't even glance at the boy. His cold eyes stared at Hidan who, although attempting to maintain his air of superiority, shrank slightly under the gaze of Sasori. Trying to leave with some of his dignity attached, the silver haired teen turned and signalled for his posse to follow.

"Don't think you've got away with this, Hidan." Sasori's voice called out over the echoes of their retreating footsteps, "I simply don't want a fight now. But if you ever touch Deidara again…" The open threat left Hidan walking away much faster, his group scurrying behind after him.

A silence settled over the two friends until Deidara decided to break it.

"Well that could have been worse." He smiled up at Sasori.

Sasori turned to look at the blonde as though he had only just noticed him. Deidara had a developing black eye, a split lip, a deep cut to his cheek and God knows what other injuries littered the rest of his body.

"Brat, you could have been seriously hurt."

"Aww, Danna! You care about me, un!" Deidara's voice became the definition of sarcasm. He grinned that tooth filled grin that always made Sasori smile. Even if nowadays it was more of a smirk then a true smile.

"Of course." He spoke matter-of-factly "If you died I'd have to clean up the mess." The blonde pouted.

"You're such a bastard Danna, un." Deidara folded his arms against his chest and flicked his hair in a very feminine way.

"He's right though." Sasori calmly stated

"About what, un?"

"You look a helluv a lot like a girl."

Sasori spent the rest of the afternoon avoiding half-hearted punches and scorching glares from the temperamental blonde. He wouldn't want it any other way!


	3. Class Pet Year 2

**Disclaimer: I Don't Own Naruto. **Damn.

**A/N:** This is for my little sister. We were talking about this fic and she mentioned having a class pet. Thus this was spawned. Sorry about the crackiness! Oh and the incredible names are not to be taken seriously. Honest!

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The entire class gathered around the newly bought glass tank and young faces pushed up against the glass in wonder at the creature inside. Residing within the tank was a simple goldfish. Something one would acquire at a pet shop for very little money and wouldn't expect to live for very long. However in the eyes of a child even something as ordinary as a goldfish can become an object of awe.

"So class, what are we going to call him?" The teacher asked with a smile creased across her face.

The whole class instantly erupted into wild chatter. Everyone wanted a different name for the oblivious creature currently swimming in circles around its new home.

"I think he should be called Jaws!" A grinning Kisame shouted. His friend Itachi stood next to him and glared.

"You only want that 'coz it's your favourite film…" He commented.

"Nu-uh, Itachi! It's a really cool name!" Kisame countered. Before the argument could escalate an explosion of orange shouted out his genius

"Tobi wants the fishy to be called Lollipop!" He clung onto the sleeve of Deidara's shirt. The blonde, who had before been deep in conversation with Sasori over why the class couldn't buy a scorpion, tried to desperately shove the black haired boy off him.

"Get off, un!"

"Tobi, stop annoying Deidara." The teacher asked kindly. Reluctantly the hyperactive child pulled away from the blonde's arm, but remained sitting too close for comfort. Deidara frowned and shuffled sideways into a mildly blushing Sasori.

"Has anybody else got a name for the fish?" The teacher asked the now slightly quieter horde of children in front of her.

"Can we call it Paperclip?" Konan asked inquisitively.

"That's a stupid name!" Hidan called out across the room, "It should be called Jashin!"

"We are not calling the fish 'Jashin' you total idiot." Kakuzu retorted.

"I'm not an idiot! You're the idiot!" Hidan moved to throttle the taller boy, but the teacher quickly caught him by the collar and manoeuvred him to the other side of her chair.

"Any other names?" She looked back at the class, "Please?"

"I think it should be called something pretty, un. Like Goldie or Pearl!" Deidara called out.

"That's a nice idea, Deidara!" The teacher looked fully relieved that at least two sensible names had been put forward. "Sasori, what do you think?"

The red haired child merely sulked and muttered, "I still don't see why we couldn't get a scorpion."

"But Sasori, I hate creepy-crawlies, un!" His blonde friend whined. "Especially scorpions! They're horrible, un!"

Sasori's face fell at the comment. "Does that mean you don't like me?" He muttered, frowning.

"No 'Sori, un! You're my bestest friend ever! It's just I hate bugs, un." Deidara quickly corrected himself and gave the red-head a hug, ensuring instant forgiveness from his friend.

"Can Tobi have a hug too, Deidara?" The masked boy yelled.

"No, un!" Tobi was once again shoved in the face but this time by Sasori, who had had enough of him.

"Sasori, try to at least be gentle when pushing your classmates around." Sighing, the teacher turned to face the class again. "Since we can't decide on a name, we'll vote!"

Almost every head turned to look at her with confusion etched across their faces. The only one who didn't look confused was Tobi and that's because his mask hid his face. Konan raised her hand.

"Miss, what's voting?" She asked, voicing the thoughts of every small child in the room.

-

So after half an hour of explaining what voting was, repeating herself, breaking up Hidan and Kakuzu's fights and questioning why the hell she ever got into primary school education, the teacher had finally managed to assemble and count the classes votes.

"Okay, since almost everyone voted for their choice only one name got more then one vote. And that was 'Goldie'!"

A delighted cry came from the back of the room where a certain blonde was sitting.

"Sasori! Did you hear that, un?! The fish is gonna be called Goldie! I chose that name, un!" Deidara pointed to his chest with a look of absolute pride on his face.

"Yes Deidara I know. I heard when the teacher announced it to the class." Sasori smiled slightly at his friend's happiness.

-

On the way home, Chiyo was asking Sasori about his day at school.

"Well, we bought this fish and everyone was trying to pick a name and so we had to vote for it." Sasori explained, a decidedly bored tone taking over his voice.

"Oh really? And which name did you vote for, 'Sori?"

She only got a mumble for a reply and in her old age it's easy to mishear things, but Chiyo could have sworn she heard her grandson say 'Goldie'.

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**A/N:** Aww, wasn't that sweet? …No? Oh, okay then… If you did enjoy it then please review! In return you'll receive more attempts at fluff! -Throws confetti-


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